A Chance for Unrequited Love
by clevinger
Summary: [Griss/Cath] Sequel to "Everything I've Known"
1. Part I

This is the sequel to "Everything I've Known". It'd be easier to read that first, but not necessary. It's present day, post-season two finale, but there are flashbacks to my own story not in any order unless mentioned.  
  
I've said it once, I've said it a thousand times, I'll say it again: NOT MINE. The characters do not belong to me. No spoilers, I don't think. And if you want it, ask. (I'm at underdog814@email.com) Feedback is always appreciated. Thanks.  
  
"Have You Ever Seen the Rain" is CCR's. The second song that is played in the car is "Until the Night" by Billy Joel. Pay attention to the one in the car, it'll come up again later with some connections.  
  
  
  
  
A Chance for Unrequited Love  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
and some great need in me starts to bleed...  
- third eye blind -  
  
  
  
  
It was frustrating, really. And it was extraordinarily difficult watching myself drowning in all that might've been. You know, I do try. I try to drain my mind of the idea that Grissom and I could make something work, but every time I see him, it just reminds me of those days before when we had nothing to hide from each other. It's torture. And seeing him just shows me how much he's moved on. I mean, when he looks at me know, all he sees is a friend. Nothing more. Not even a possibility of more. With a damned sleight of fate, everything was over. He was heading to Chicago, I met Eddie, et cetera, et cetera.  
  
You have no idea how hard it is for me. God, pining for someone who doesn't even see me that way anymore. I guess it was because we both never had the guts to confess that we wanted more than just a casual relationship. It was tacit though known, but neither dared to take that one step to cross the line between casual and true romance.  
  
I looked at the clock from the bed, and swore under my breath. The numbers glared brightly in the dark. An hour before shift began, and I hadn't gotten a wink of sleep. I reached over to my nightstand and grabbed the remote for the stereo, turning it on. I pulled the covers over my head again, the music blasting from the speakers.  
  
  
  
  
  
Someone told me long ago  
There's a calm before the storm  
I know  
It's been coming for some time  
When it's over so they say  
It'll rain a sunny day  
I know  
Shining down like water  
  
I want to know  
Have you ever seen the rain  
I want to know  
Have you ever seen the rain  
Coming down on a sunny day  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Well, if I can't sleep now, I might as well not sleep at all. I flung the covers off and lifted my protesting body up from the bed.  
  
  
  
  
  
Yesterday and days before  
Sun is cold and rain is hard  
I know  
Been that way for all my time  
Till forever on it goes  
Through the circle fast and slow  
I know  
It can't stop, I wonder  
  
I want to know  
Have you ever seen the rain  
I want to know  
Have you ever seen the rain  
Coming down on a sunny day...  
  
  
  
  
  
  
I opened my closet doors, and dragged out a pair of pants, pulling them on. I removed a belt from the metal hook on the door, and strung it through the hoops of my pants. I sighed. It was hard even trying to distract myself. I pulled a shirt off a hanger. Shrugging it on, I counted the buttons as I did them. One, two, three, four, and left the top one undone. I picked a silver faced watch from the drawer, and began winding it while I stared at the mirror's reflection. I snapped the watch on around my left wrist, my eyes never leaving the ones in the mirror in front of me. For some reason, I felt so damned empty.  
  
The music faded into an awful silence. I turned off the stereo. I thought about waking Lindsey when suddenly I remembered she was with Eddie for the whole week. Was my mind that wrapped up that I even forget where my daughter is? I sighed again. Grabbing my leather jacket that was laid haphazardly on a chair, I stuck my keys and pager in the pockets, and marched myself downstairs while I brushed my hair quickly.  
  
"Catherine, I don't want you on this case."  
  
Why not?!  
  
"Look, you're already all worked up and you're not even at the scene yet. I don't want you to get emotionally involved. I don't think you can handle this."  
  
Don't tell me what I can or cannot handle. I know my own limits, Grissom. And I want this case.  
  
"Catherine - "  
  
Fire me, I challenged.  
  
We stood out in the empty hallway. Grissom didn't reply. He didn't even look me in the eye. I waited for a moment, and walked away, leaving him to stand there. I heard him let out an uneasy sigh.  
  
"Take Warrick with you." He finally said, defeated.  
  
Fine.  
  
I went by the break room and found Warrick pouring himself a cup of coffee. I knocked on the door, making him look up.  
  
Warrick, you're with me. I'll meet you out in the parking lot in a couple minutes. You're driving.  
  
"Wow," He said when we finally were well on our way, cruising through traffic effortlessly, "You look deep in thought."  
  
I'm a scientist, Warrick. I get paid to be deep in thought.  
  
"So, what's wrong?"  
  
What makes you think something's wrong?  
  
"Well, for one, since when do you insist that I drive?"  
  
I smiled at his assiduous observation, but didn't respond.  
  
"And you look pretty upset." He continued. His mud puddle green eyes were filled with concern.  
  
I'm not upset.  
  
"Yeah? Tell that to the veins popping out of your forehead."  
  
I couldn't help but laugh.  
  
"You can tell me, you know."  
  
I know, Warrick.  
  
"All right, as long as you know."  
  
Thanks.  
  
He nodded. "Music?"  
  
Sure.  
  
"Billy Joel, okay with you?"  
  
Perfect.  
  
He reached over and turned on the radio, letting music flood my mind as I stared out at the road that zoomed pass us.  
  
  
  
  
I never ask you where you go  
After I leave you in the morning  
We go our different ways to separate situations  
It's not that easy anymore  
  
Today I do what must be done  
I give my time to total strangers  
But now it feels as though the day goes on forever  
More than it ever did before   
  
  
  
  
I shifted in the passenger seat, sucking in a sharp breath. I could feel my stomach twisting into tight knots.  
  
  
  
  
Until the night, until the night  
I just might make it  
Until the night, until the night  
When I see you again   
  
  
  
  
"Cath, you okay?" His concerned voice interrupted my thoughts.  
  
  
  
  
Now you're afraid that we have changed  
And I'm afraid we're getting older  
So many broken hearts, so many lonely faces  
So many lovers come and gone   
  
I'll have my fears like every man  
You'll have you tears like every woman  
Today we'll be unsure, is this what we believe in  
And wonder how can we go wrong   
  
  
  
  
Fine. I'm fine.  
  
  
  
  
Until the night, until the night  
I just might make it  
Until the night, until the night  
When I see you again   
  
  
  
  
He tried to catch me eye, wait for me to make a wrong move to corner me in his insistent interrogation. I didn't look at him. I couldn't allow him to see the tears that had begun to blur my vision.  
  
  
  
  
When the sun goes down  
And the day is over  
When the last of the light has gone  
As they pour into the street  
I will be getting closer  
As the cars turn their headlights on  
As they're closing it down  
I'm gonna open it up  
And while they're going to sleep  
We'll just be starting to touch  
I'm just beginning to feel  
I'm just beginning to give  
I'm just beginning to feel  
I'm just beginning to live  
Before I leave you again  
Before the light of dawn  
Before this evening can end  
I have been waiting so long   
  
Until the night, until the night  
I just might make it  
Until the night, until the night  
I'll just keep holding on  
Until the night, until the night  
When I see you again  
  
  
  
  
"You sure you're all right?"  
  
Warrick, I'm fine. Let's just get this case over and done with.  
  
I got out the car quickly when he jerked the brake into place. I swallowed hard, waiting for him.  
  
Good song, I said.  
  
He just smiled faintly.  
  
________________________________________________________________________________________  
  
Please let me know what you all think. Thanks. 


	2. Part II

Same stuff applies. This chapter is a flashback. And within the flashback, there's another one. You'll figure it out.  
  
  
A Chance for Unrequited Love (Part II)  
  
  
  
  
====================  
  
"So, what was your childhood like?"  
  
I looked up into his blue eyes and laughed softly.  
  
"What?"  
  
Nobody's ever asked me that before.  
  
He reached out, tucking a loose strand of hair behind my ear. "They should."  
  
So, I told him my life story, and he listened like a child in awe at a fairy tale.  
  
I told him I grew up like most eldest children grew up, respected, trusted, looked up to, and of course inwardly tortured. I had a sister to whom I was constantly being compared. We were exact opposites. She was obedient, I broke any and all rules. She never touched or even came a hundred feet from drugs and alcohol, I tried everything you could ingest. She was the good student, I was the bad. She was musical and could play any instrument, I didn't even know how to hum in tune. She kept in contact with the family, I left home when I turned sixteen to be disowned when I returned at eighteen. And as different as we both were, she cried the night I told her I was leaving, and followed my footsteps to Sin City years later. She knew who she was inside, I spent a lifetime trying to figure out who I was.  
  
"Do you miss your parents?"  
  
No, I said laconically, No, I don't.  
  
He didn't answer, waiting for me to elaborate. I looked away for a moment, staring at the hardwood floor of his spacey townhouse.  
  
I never told anyone this before, I started.  
  
"So, tell ME." He said gently.  
  
I was thirteen. I remember it as if it were only five minutes ago. God, I can still hear the screaming...  
  
  
  
==========  
  
"You're worthless. If I weren't here, nothing would work right."  
  
==========  
  
  
  
My mother was crying. She was yelling back, but my father's voice drowned her out easily. I was lying in bed listening to all this. So finally, I made the stupid mistake of going to the kitchen and watching from the door.  
  
  
  
==========  
  
"Look at me, you bitch."  
  
She raised a bruised face to her husband from the floor.  
  
I winced seeing her like that. I watched him hit her. I watched him beat her until she was lying in a helpless heap on the linoleum tiles. I could almost feel the pain inflicted on her myself.  
  
His eyes suddenly turned on me, like he knew I was standing there the whole time. Our eyes locked in an instant. My eyes were exactly like his, blue. But tears in mine, remorse in his. But in his remorse, I knew he wouldn't apologize. I knew he wouldn't even say anything. I knew if I ran, he wouldn't come after me. So I didn't wait. I turned on my heels, and sprinted to my room, burying my face into my pillow, hoping to suppress my anger, hatred, and all the emotions that came flooding into me.  
  
==========  
  
  
  
My mother never saw me. She never knew I was there watching.  
  
Gil looked at me, his expression in a way I couldn't explain with words. It was sad, but hopeful-like. I really couldn't say.  
  
And every night I lay in bed and bore the pain of knowing my father was beating my mother. And all those nights whenever they fought, I would get out of bed and go to my sister's room, and close her door. I didn't want her to find out. She was only a few years younger than me, but I felt like I had a responsibility to protect her considering neither of my parents were doing it. I swore on my life I would never let her know the pain that I'd known. And she never knew. Not even now. When I turned sixteen, my father left. And then I did too. I couldn't handle it anymore. I moved to Seattle with my boyfriend. We lived there for a year or so, and he left me for an older woman. I returned home to see my mother only to find that my father had returned also. My father disowned me. And my mother, who was always obedient to a fault, followed suit. So that's how I ended up here.  
  
I raised my eyes to Gil's. His subtle smile comforted me.  
  
What are you smirking at? I asked, trying to change the subject.  
  
"You are one hell of a woman, Cath." He paused, and brushed my hair away from my eyes again, "I mean, the way you do things, it's like you have strength enough to take on the whole world on your own."  
  
That sounds good, but I have different plans tonight.  
  
"Really? What?"  
  
I leaned forward and kissed his lips softly, just enough for him to know what I meant.  
  
"Oh."  
  
I smiled lightly, Yeah.  
  
====================  
  
  
I snapped out of my reverie as Warrick called me.  
  
"Catherine, you all right? I called you seven times."  
  
Sorry, Warrick, I was thinking.  
  
"Yeah, I know." His gaze was intense. I wanted to look away, but I couldn't. "What's bothering you?"  
  
Nostalgia. 


	3. Part III

Same stuff, different chapter. And oh, the F-curse was used once.  
  
  
  
  
  
A Chance for Unrequited Love (Part III)  
  
  
  
  
  
So, did you see something?  
  
"Yeah," Warrick replied as I tailed him.  
  
First glance, the crime scene he and I had taken up seemed to be a suicide. Suicide of a twelve year old boy. What the hell. His seven year old sister found him, a rope around his neck in his closet. What the hell.  
  
What did you find?  
  
"Well, you see this?" He pointed to the rope a few inches from the boy's head, untied.  
  
I nodded weakly.  
  
"Look, at the bruises." He showed me the purple around his neck.  
  
The rope's too thin to have made such huge bruises.  
  
"My point exactly."  
  
Homicide, I said under my breath.  
  
Second glance, homicide. What the fuck.  
  
"We need to speak with the mother."  
  
Yeah.  
  
"Where's the mother?" Warrick asked Brass a few moments later as we stood outside the house. "Has she talked to her daughter yet?"  
  
"She's at the station. And no, why?"  
  
Mother's now a suspect. We can't let her talk to her daughter until we have.  
  
"The mother or the daughter?"  
  
Both.  
  
"Right."  
  
  
=====================  
  
Hey, Gil. What are you doing here? It's two in the morning. Shouldn't you be at -  
  
"I work the morning shift now, remember?"  
  
Right. 'The incident'. But still, you should be sleeping. It's so late.  
  
"Never too late to see you. Besides, I want to show you something." He smiled boyishly, and offered me his arm. Beaming back, I took it as he held the doors of the French Palace open for me, leading me to his car.  
  
Will I like it?  
  
"Since when do I show you things you don't - "  
  
All the time.  
  
"Yeah? Like what?" He pulled out of the parking lot, and turned into the street.  
  
Well, for one of many examples, your African wolf spiders.  
  
He laughed, not just with his lips, but with his eyes. "Well, I promise you this time, it's not an arthropod."  
  
So, what should I be preparing myself for - a nematode or an annelid?  
  
"Very funny, Cath."  
  
Within ten minutes or so, he stopped the car. I looked around. It was dark like coal except the moon and the stars.  
  
Are we in the desert? I asked climbing out.  
  
"Pretty much." He answered shortly.  
  
We sat down together on a huge flat rock nearby.  
  
So what are we doing out here?  
  
"Well, you know, I only share every nine years - "  
  
And thirty four days.  
  
"Right. I told you."  
  
Is your time up?  
  
"No." He said, "But, I've been thinking a lot, and..."  
  
And?  
  
"I was thinking, that's a pretty long time, and..."  
  
I waited.  
  
"And I didn't want something to happen and screw up the chance of me never being able to share something with you."  
  
With me?  
  
"Yeah." I felt him shift in his seat.  
  
It was silent for a moment. I could hear crickets arguing nearby.  
  
"This is where I come out every once in a while to think."  
  
Another short silence.  
  
What do you think about?  
  
"Oh, anything that comes to mind really. Work - cases - books - my mother." He paused. "You." Then, "Sometimes I don't even think at all. I just sit here and watch the stars all night. One time, I even caught the sunrise."  
  
I smiled.  
  
==================== 


	4. Part IV

Includes a flashback.  
  
  
  
  
  
A Chance for Unrequited Love (Part IV)  
  
  
  
  
Priority, Greg. Priority.  
  
"Grissom just handed me some priority stuff too, Cath."  
  
But who are you going to listen to?  
  
"Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned."  
  
Very good. ASAP, Greg.  
  
"Yeah, okay."  
  
"What'd you just give him?" Warrick asked me as we walked down the hall.  
  
The rope.  
  
"All right, and Doc Robbins just finished checking the body for us. He says cause of death was definitely strangling."  
  
Anything else?  
  
"Nothing yet."  
  
You think it's the mother?  
  
"The last person to see 'em alive is usually the one who did it."  
  
Brass is talking to the mother now?  
  
"Yeah, and she's definitely lyin'. I was there for part of it."  
  
What'd she say?  
  
"Nothing that she said. Her body movement. Her gestures. Shifting in her seat. Not lookin' Brass in the eye when he questioned her. Stuff like that."  
  
All right then, all we need now is some proof. Let's go talk to the girl for a little bit. See if she's okay.  
  
"Sure."  
  
"Why won't you let me see my mommy?" She sobbed loudly.  
  
Warrick and I sat across from each other in the interrogation room, the glass wall empty. We made sure no one was behind. The girl didn't need that. And now, Warrick stared blankly at the table top. The girl sat on my lap, her little arms around my neck, begging me.  
  
"I want to see my mommy. Please? I promise it'll just be two seconds. I promise."  
  
I can't, I replied, struggling with tears of my own.  
  
"No! I want to see her now. Please? I promise I'll be good."  
  
I know you'll be good, but I can't let you.  
  
"Why not?"  
  
I looked at Warrick. Slowly, his green eyes raised to meet mine, his eyebrows furrowed.  
  
Not now.  
  
Someone knocked on the door. It was Brass. Warrick waved him in.  
  
"Something wrong?"  
  
"Yeah, I had to release the mother."  
  
What? Why? Her prints were all over the body. And I bet her epithelials are on the rope too.  
  
"I asked her what happened. She said when she found her son, she took him out and untied the rope. So, that explains why. I can't hold her on that."  
  
I swallowed hard, but didn't say anything.  
  
"Sorry, Cath."  
  
I nodded, taking a deep breath.  
  
  
====================  
  
  
I opened my eyes. Was someone knocking on the front door? I blinked back the stars obscuring my vision and sat up. The clock on the table read 3:56. Who in their right mind would be coming - Gil. Gil. I bolted to the door nearly tripping over myself. I swung it open quickly.  
  
"I'm sorry, Cath. I know I shouldn't have come, but I just needed to see you."  
  
No, it's all right. Come in. Is everything okay?  
  
"I did something very unlike me."  
  
Shouldn't you still be at work? It's only four.  
  
"Yeah. We had a little 'incident' as my boss called it." I sat down with him on the couch. "They suspended me for a few days."  
  
What? Why? What did you do?  
  
"I was working on this case with Henderson, this guy who works graveyard too. 420, homicide on a stripper on the highway just outside the city...God, I don't feel like talking about this right now."  
  
Okay. Okay, then don't. Just rest a while first.  
  
"I'm sorry. I shouldn't've bothered you about all this." He mumbled as he looked away from me.  
  
Hey, Gil.  
  
"Hmmm?"  
  
Gil, listen to me. Listen to me.  
  
I touched his cheek, making eye contact. His eyes were hurting, in distress, asking for some sort of help.  
  
Are you listening? I said softly, barely catching my breath at the sight of his eyes.  
  
"Yeah."  
  
You can always come to me, Gil. All right? Whatever it is, you don't have to hide it from me. Okay? Hey, all right?  
  
"Yeah, all right."  
  
And before I could process it, I kissed him. I just wanted to make his pain go away. He was hurting so much, I didn't know what else I could do. I wanted to help him so badly, and some things you just couldn't say with words. You could only express those inexpressible things with motions, actions.  
  
He didn't pull away like I thought him might've, which was one of the things that really surprised me about him.  
  
So, you want to tell me what happened? I said the next morning.  
  
"Homicide. Stripper." He said sitting up from the couch, buttoning up his shirt, "That idiot Henderson just said she deserved it. She deserved a life like that. Only worthless, unintelligent women became strippers."  
  
He looked at me, and touched my face, tracing my features with his finger like a blind man.  
  
"I thought of...you. And I blew up."  
  
Blew up how?  
  
"I punched him."  
  
You what?  
  
"Yeah. I couldn't believe it myself. My boss suspended me for a few days, and transferred me to morning shift."  
  
You punched a guy?  
  
He laughed at my disbelief. "Yeah. Gave him a bloody nose. Probably broke my hand."  
  
I think your hand's fine seeing the performance last night.  
  
He blushed, smiling.  
  
Thank you, Gil.  
  
"For what?"  
  
Well, I'm glad you don't think me like that.  
  
He looked at me, his eyes serious like I've never seen them. "I would never think that of you."  
  
You better not, I teased.  
  
"Never."  
  
====================  
  
  
What are you telling me?  
  
"I don't want to go home." The little girl sobbed.  
  
What? Why not? I thought you wanted to see your mom.  
  
"I do," She sniffled loudly, "but I'm scared."  
  
I sat with the daughter in my lap, holding her tight, scared of what I could find out, but just as eager to hear. I reached into my jacket pocket and pressed the record button on my tape recorder I always kept in handy.  
  
Why?  
  
"Mommy - well, she - well, she - "  
  
What?  
  
She shook her head vigorously.  
  
You can tell me.  
  
"She doesn't know."  
  
She doesn't know what?  
  
"She doesn't know I saw her."  
  
You saw her?  
  
"Yeah, I saw her."  
  
What do you mean?  
  
"I can't tell." She shook her head again.  
  
You can tell me, I urged.  
  
"She - she - Mommy - she - I saw her - she was - she was hurting Jonathan."  
  
She was? When?  
  
"The day before yesterday."  
  
Was he crying?  
  
"No. He - he - he wasn't crying. Mommy - she - she thought I wasn't home - but - but I was. I - I saw her."  
  
Are you sure?  
  
She nodded slowly, her eyes growing wide.  
  
How come you didn't say anything before?  
  
"I didn't - I didn't want Mommy to be in trouble. I mean, I love Mommy, but I'm scared too. But I do love her." Her eyes grew wider. "You won't take her away, will you?"  
  
I couldn't respond. How the hell do you answer something like that?  
  
"You - you won't, will you?" 


End file.
